098: Want Sanity and Peace? It's All About What You Cultivate

How often do you focus on the "weeds" in your neighbors yard instead of giving attention to your own "weeds?"

During the lawn care seasons of Spring and Summer few things create a sense of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) more than hearing a neighbors lawn mower fire up.

The sound triggers guilt, motivation, or (in the case of THEIR weeds) an uttering of, "it's about time they mowed..."

Guilt motivates.

Gloating minimizes.

Voltaire nailed it with these words,

"We must cultivate our garden."

His point: focus on your own environment or as we've covered here - "mind your own business..."

The temptation to fix things or blame others for not fixing theirs creates internal and external conflict.

It's conflict you and I don't need.

Cultivate your own garden and you'll experience sanity and peace instead of anxiety and fear

I'm a fixer.

Sometimes my motivation for fixing things is a desire to influence an outcome.

Other times my fix-it mentality is an attempt to eliminate personal discomfort or distraction.

The former enhances the potential for desired improvement.

The latter merely protects my at-risk margins relative to time and energy.

Circumstantial improvements are best achieved by focusing on your circle of influence not your circle of concern.

"Cultivate your garden" by:

• Being good to your people and those around you
• Doing something that creates value
• Finding joy and hope in your ordinary experiences

Be good to your people and those around you

"Your people" includes: family, friends, co-workers, neighbors - basically any humans you routinely interact with.

Beyond your immediate relational scope are "those around you": social media networks, casual relationships, the world and culture at-large - basically anyone you know of or about (and that you may or may not agree with, care about, or even like).

People can be "a-lot." They push-your-buttons and get you worked up.

Your ability to be "good" to your people inside and outside of your circle is tested on a regular basis.

What does it mean to "be good" to others?

• Engage with people without being antagonistic: don't pick fights or push an agenda that's unlikely to be accepted.
• Relate without reacting: say "tell me more...," (to gain understanding) instead of "telling them off" (to make a point).
• Listen to understand not to correct: keep your opposing opinions to yourself while letting others be entitled to theirs.

Being good to your people and the world at large has the potential to create positive conversations and diffuse destructive dialogue.

We could always use that type of "goodness," am I right?

Do something that creates value

Are you part of the problem or are you part of the solution?

That's a blunt and definitive question but it forces awareness about your capability for value-creation.

I want to leave my mark on the world.

How about you?

Channeling Voltaire once again, creating value begins with "cultivating your garden."

• Find your place: roles, relationships, words, ideas, skills, and earned wisdom.
• Use your resources: available time, energy, and exemplary experiences with success and failure.
• Do your thing: impact, influence, integrity.

Find joy and hope in your ordinary experiences

Life happens whether you attempt to control it or not.

How you respond to your circumstances - that's your choice.

Ordinary days bring moments of pain, challenge, failure, success, happiness, joy and hope.

The "garden" you cultivate out of your ordinary experiences will produce an abundant harvest as you seek less control and more awareness.

• Ask "what" instead of "why": "what can I use or change from this experience instead of wondering why it happened."
• Look for clues of hope: shift your focus from fear and frustration to the bigger picture - things might not be as bad as they seem.

"Cultivate your garden" if you want a harvest of sanity and peace instead of fear and anxiety

• Be good to your people and those around you
• Do something that creates value
• Find joy and hope in your ordinary experiences

Press on...

Eddie