134: Are You Living at the Wishing-Well?
Wishes are typically kept a secret. You blow out the candles, attach a wish to a falling star, or stand at a wishing well with coins in hand and make a wish that only you're privy to.
There are wishes that those who've aged past you would wish they had made (and shared) regarding their physical, emotional, or relational health.
Let's talk about deciding to turn your wishes — whatever they are - into reality.
What stays at the mere wish-level will be worth nothing more than the few coins you've tossed in the wishing well through the years — unless you take action. There's no return on those wishes if you don't invest in their fulfillment.
Most people keep wishing their aging journey would be different or more fulfilling but fail to make the changes that transform them from a wish to reality.
Wishful aging provides compelling wisdom to take action towards fulfilling your wishes
Those who reach aging pinnacles such as their 80's, 90's, or 100's reveal much about actions they wish they had taken when they were younger.
Consider this your aging wish-list that you can begin — now — to take action on.
Turn wishful movement into active movement
Thinking of your body like an asset will compel you to stop wishing and start moving. Why allow reaching a certain age to confront you with that reality?
I dwell on movement a lot in my content because it's so dang vital to your longevity. Move or at some point become immovable. And who wants that, really?
If you're in your 40's, 50's, 60's, or beyond keep moving. Your body will thank you in a decade or three.
Define active movement however you choose. Walk, run, stretch, squat, take the stairs, park further away from the store but however you do it — keep moving!
Turn wishful relational regrets into active relationships
Research confirms that relationships are the key to happy and healthy longevity. Although adult friendships are a different breed. Telling someone, "Hey, we gotta get together more often," and actually doing it can be challenging.
I get it. You spent the bulk of your adult decades in your 30's and 40's dealing with the immediate relationships within your own family — your spouse, significant other, kids, and blended family dynamics.
Now that you're nearing your second half or are smack dab in the middle of it, it's easy to take a breather. But the research is tough to ignore.
"Robert Waldinger’s Harvard Study of Adult Development, the longest study of human happiness ever conducted, found that the quality of your relationships at midlife predicts how well you age. 'The clearest message that we get from this 75-year study is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period.'”1
Consider your relationships as more vital than wishful thinking. They are a metric that could define your health as you age.
Reach out. Reconnect. Renew your long lost friendships.
Turn wishful thoughts of success into active goals
Success is elusive. And the gap between what you consider your productive years and your legacy can be convicting.
It's common to realize that most of your productive years were invested climbing a ladder that you discovered was leaning against someone else's wall. Their goals consumed or overshadowed yours.
Regrets come easily with wishful thoughts of success. But it's never too late to hit the reset button and reboot your goals.
Change. Do the unexpected. Pursue what you care about. If it all works out, great! If not, you're better having attempted success on your terms instead of someone else's.
Turn wishful joy into an active priority
How many times have you said, "I'll do 'X' when when the kids leave home, when I retire, when my financial portfolio pays off," or the classic — "when things settle down?" But the classic wish never comes to fruition. I mean, when have things ever settled down?
Joy cannot be attached to wishful thinking. Life won't wait for you to magically reach a place of settled contentment.
You age. Illness happens. Setbacks occur. And the window of opportunity gradually or suddenly closes.
Prioritize your life before regret slams the door.
Turn wishful courage into active risk
Nietzsche's words might be a gut-punch, but he's spot-on in my opinion:
"...the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and the greatest enjoyment is: to live dangerously."2
Do you wish you had taken more risks? More so, are you willing to consider doing so instead wishing you had?
Trying and failing isn't nearly as bad as having never tried. I'll take the former over the latter.
Have the courage to embrace the rejection, the judgement, or the embarrassment of having risked. I'm thinking that the fear you feel today — at whatever age you are — will not be significant a year or a decade from now.
What are your waiting for? Get out on the edge.
Turn wishful calm into active energy
"Don't worry, be happy," is a catchy song lyric but it's unfortunate reality is that worry is often the stronger of the two.
When worry becomes an excuse for inaction, calm will elude you. I'm not naive enough to tell you to "calm down." That demand doesn't end well. No one has found calm by being told to calm.
Calm is a result of redirecting your energy and intentions. It's a by-product of realizing that what causes you to worry most often never happens.
Step out of the dread-loop and step into the calm in the eye-of-your-personal storm. Life can be and is often chaotic around the edges but there's a place of calm that exceeds wishful thinking.
Find your calm.
It's time to step away from the wishing-well and turn your wishes into action.
Press on...
Eddie
Sources:
1-https://medium.com/personal-growth/what-people-in-their-80s-wish-they-d-done-differently-at-your-age-214744e98f93
2-https://medium.com/personal-growth/what-people-in-their-80s-wish-they-d-done-differently-at-your-age-214744e98f93