146: Are You Living in Purgatory?
How often do you think about purgatory? Unless you're spiritually or eternally inclined you likely don't think about it much—and even being so inclined you still might not give it much thought.
By definition—and mostly relevant to Catholic doctrine—purgatory is a state or place where a soul rests in a waiting state until it's declared holy enough to enter heaven. That's my loose translation of the doctrine—slack appreciated.
Nonetheless, purgatory carries the theme of waiting. And that's precisely the perspective Thomas Oppong lends to the word in a broader context.
"Purgatory is a waiting room. You sit in it, very sure that the life you want starts later, after certain conditions are met. Until then, you prepare."1
Waiting and preparation seem to be the dominant themes of what Oppong calls the purgatory mindset.
Who doesn't want a better or more perfected life? Aging has a nagging way of reminding you that the time-gap has narrowed somewhat—depending on what decade you're in—causing you to wonder how much betterment or perfecting you can do.
And therein lies the challenge. The process of wondering and waiting becomes the routine of your life.
As the Stoic philosopher, Seneca, wrote to his friend, Lucilius,
"While we are postponing (exercising our 'purgatory mindset'), life speeds by."2
This is your life. This moment. This opportunity. This day on the calendar.
Are you living in the waiting room? Are you living in the preparation?
Annie Dillard wrote,
"How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."
You are not rehearsing. You are actually living—here and now!
What do you expect? That's not a question to ask relative to tomorrow, it's a reminder that today is where pursuing your expectations begins.
Keep that statement in your hip-pocket while you consider how to deal with the incessant purgatory mindset that keeps you waiting.
Stop waiting to arrive, instead live fully at your current destination
The purgatory mindset is inclined towards a point in time at which you'll arrive at some place new or more fulfilling.
Could be arrival at a long-established goal relative to your health or wellness. Or perhaps it's an arrival at a long overdue decision to have a conversation with someone. Maybe you're getting all your ducks-in-a-row before you take action on a new hobby or interest.
The problem isn't the scope or scale of your intentions—it's the waiting for the place or the moment that signals an arrival of sorts.
Why not leverage your action while living in your current destination. Because if you ever do arrive, wherever that point or place is, you gotta make a move where you are.
Retirement (so I'm told) can often feel like an arrival point that keeps moving the goal-posts—especially if you're bored and wondering if you'll have enough health or resources to keep going. Why not stop treating the future, the impending, or the current retirement era as an arrival point. Instead, wake up every day grateful for being fully alive with a fully engaged mindset.
Don't be seduced by thinking you have plenty of time, instead make the most of the present moment
Time waits for no one. That idea either motivates you or depresses you. I'm working on using it as motivation. How about you?
The time gap narrows the longer you delay action on something you've dreamed of or planned to accomplish. And why let your age or the aging journey have anything to do with whether you take action or not.
Regret is the only fruit you'll get from allowing delay to take root in your mindset.
The present moment is full of potential.
- Potential for growth.
- Potential for change.
- Potential for doing something about whatever is stirring within you.
Making the most of the moment you're in relinquishes the grip that a purgatory mindset can have one you. Why wait when time certainly won't?
Avoid over-preparing, fully participate in what's available or compelling to you now
I'm an over-preparer on occasion. There I confessed it. But I'm getting better at accepting the messiness of simply using what I have available or have created in the moment.
There's greater potential in resourcefulness than in reserving your effort through too much preparation.
As a writer, I've grown comfortable and confident in the potential within what Anne Lamott calls, "the shitty first draft." Most writers are amateurs but...they edit like pros.
It's in the editing that the full beauty of whatever's being created arises from the mess.
Overthinking. Over-preparing. Overanalyzing. Whatever's over you, get over it!
This era in your aging journey deserves your full participation. Because what you fully engage in now with what you have available to you will only improve when you stop waiting for perfect timing.
Exit the purgatory mindset. It's not worth the wait.
- Live fully in the now.
- Make the most of the present moment.
- Fully participate in what's available or compelling.
Press on...
Eddie
Sources:
2-Ibid.