104: Are You Mature or Just Old-er?
How often do you think about the question:"Are you mature or just old-er?"
Your answer has less to do with acting your age or wondering if or when you (or someone else) will grow up.
Maturity and age typically go hand in hand.
But they are often separated by a wide margin of how self-aware you are, how you think about your life and circumstances, and how you measure and monitor your experiences.
I'm at the age where I think about the younger generations and how they are aging and hopefully maturing.
I picture their future and them being in charge of their personal lives, the economy, and the government.
Some see promise, others see chaos.
The linchpin - as I'm choosing to see it is - maturity.
But unfortunately, age is by no means a guarantee of wisdom or maturity.
Maturity is achieved by using your aging journey to learn, grow, and acquire wisdom
I was given a leadership role in my mid to late twenties.
At the time, I thought I had the maturity and wisdom to handle it.
A mentor told me a year or so prior to taking on that role that I would be given a lot of slack prior to the age of 30.
But once I hit 30, accountability would be thrust upon me.
Man, was he correct!
I turned 30 and my lack of maturity and wisdom began to get the best of me.
I've reflected on that experience through the years and I'm happy to admit that I have indeed matured.
That's how it's supposed to work - you live, learn, and leverage your experiences into new levels of maturity and wisdom.
Using...
- Maturity as a mirror
- Maturity as a mindset
- Maturity as a measurement
Maturity is a mirror
You see yourself, others, and your surroundings in the reflection of your personal maturity.
Think about that in the context of what psychologist Carl Jung said,
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. A better understanding of yourself means you are back in control. Maturity teaches you when to speak and when to shut up. When to walk away. When to care and when to let things fall apart. You still feel things, but you don’t drown in them. It teaches you to stop fighting battles that only exist in your head. To stop treating life like a test you have to ace.1
Those daily irritations you experience from others or circumstances beyond your control are or will likely be reflected in your own actions.
Blame placing or buck-passing reflects a lack of maturity.
The mature response (as Jung points out) is to exert self-control.
- Know when to speak and when to shut-up.
- Choose to walk away instead of walking into something that won't end well.
- Care without trying to control the outcome.
Your actions reflect your level of maturity not your age.
Maturity is a mindset
A gift of maturity is exercising your freedom to make observations, to process what you see, feel, or experience, and to move on with a sense of peace and calm.
There's a mindset of humility that accompanies such freedom.
"Maturity of mind and emotion is the kind of growth that humbles you and heals you at the same time."2
Maturity doesn't make you better or more equipped than someone else.
In fact, when you're mature...you simply are (mature) and that's enough - you have nothing to prove.
- Align yourself and your intentions with what's happening around you - focus on what you can influence and let the rest go.
- Find your flow - look ten steps ahead and prepare for what's next without worrying about the problems that haven't happened.
- See your circumstances clearly without needing them to be different - "Your peace of mind doesn't come from solving life's problems. It comes from realizing that most of them were never yours to solve."3
Maturity is a measurement
I like to think of the measure of maturity this way: your experiences provide you wisdom, maturity is revealed by how you use the wisdom you've gained.
This confirms, for me, that being old-er doesn't always equate with being mature.
Maturity is measured by your effective use of acquired wisdom.
“Maturity to a large extent is dependent on your exposure to life, its experiences and your lessons (learned) from them.” — Omoakhuana Anthonia 4
- Measure your maturity by wisely reducing the drama in your life.
- Measure your maturity by wisely treating your peace as a sacred space.
- Measure your maturity by wisely finding joy in simplicity.
Maturity transcends age because you've learned how to live
- Maturity as a mirror
- Maturity as a mindset
- Maturity as measurement
Press on...
Eddie
Sources:
1 - https://medium.com/personal-growth/this-life-lesson-only-makes-sense-with-age-93b8049b2478
2 - Ibid
3 - Ibid
4 - Ibid