101: 3 Good Pieces of Aging Advice
The older you become the more you realize that advice isn't in short supply.
But when you reach a certain age (I'll let you pick a number) giving and receiving advice is relative.
Although, restraint with regards to giving advice is essential as you age (if you don't want to be "Progressive" - as in the TV commercial).
IYKYK (If you know, you know)!
I'm not talking about the cheap or not-reading-the-room brand of advice.
Here's the type of advice I'm talking about:
"If I were to advise someone just entering their 60s or 70s (backdating it a bit for those approaching their 40s and 50s), I’d say: rediscover your passions, forgive yourself for the things you didn’t do, and above all, stay curious."1
Let's talk about those three compelling pieces of aging advice.
Each can define or refine your current or next decade.
There's nothing cheap about that advice because each piece enables you to craft a more fulfilling story as you grow older.
Set aside any aging advice that rewards apathy over action
Passion, forgiveness, and curiosity carve out a more rewarding path to follow as you age.
- Rediscovered passions keep you moving, active, and engaged
- Personal forgiveness channels regret into renewed energy
- Curiosity compels growth, exploration, and wisdom
Live with greater intention as you rediscover lost or dormant passions
Think for a moment about whatever once energized you and got you stoked.
Was it a hobby, a personal interest, a sport, or any activity that got you up and about on a daily or routine basis?
Passions are are those things that compel you to do more, become more, or contribute more of yourself and your available resources.
Your passions might give you some sense purpose - but you'll not live a purposeful life unless passion is somewhere in the mix.
What I like about having a passion for something is that it (passion) enables me to live with intention.
The greater your intention the more fulfillment you give and receive in your life.
That's good advice, wouldn't you agree.
Rediscover your passion by:
- Reflecting on what once gave you joy and energy that you might have let dust gather on.
- Believing that as long as you're alive there's opportunity for new or renewed interest in what you're passion about.
- Creating alternate paths when your passion hits a dead-end.
Channel your regret into renewed energy by forgiving yourself
Regret weighs you down.
It's like carrying a perpetual if-only into every sunrise or moment depending on its weight.
Daniel Pink in his comprehensive regret survey and related book on the topic provides an alternative to the if-only mindset common with regret:
"I can't undo an action regret...But one way to ease its sting is to switch from 'If Only' to 'At Least.' ...'At Leasts' don't alter our behavior or boost our performance in the future, but they do help us reassess the present.
'At Leasts' work like antibiotics. Sometimes we need to reach into the medicine cabinet and pop a few of them to fortify our psychological immune system and fight off certain harmful emotions. If we use these antibiotics too often, their efficacy will wane. If we use them intelligently, they can aid in healthy functioning."2
A healthy approach to regret is shifting from "if-only" to "at least."
Once you've altered your perspective go to work on forgiving yourself - however major or minor the internalized, personal offense.
A change in perspective around your regrets motivates you while forgiving yourself releases the chains that have held you hostage and sapped your energy.
Tattoo this formula on your mindset:
If only > < At least >> Forgiveness >> Renewed energy!
Compel increasing growth, exploration, and wisdom by staying curious
I'm insatiably curious about most things.
I want to know the how and why.
This is as good a quality to have as is the advice I would give you about being curious.
Curiosity:
- Keeps your mind flexible and open
- Introduces you to new ideas
- Increases your desire to explore
- Creates new adventures and opportunities
Any of those results got you...well...curious?
Wisdom waits for no one but it will flow more naturally to the insatiably curious.
- Go behind the scenes of your problems and challenges in search of a single solution.
- Listen and read between the lines of conversations and relational encounters.
- Be careful to not take things at face value - it could be a mask hiding the unapparent and deeper truths.
Advice is never cheap when it leads to growth and a more compelling journey through aging
So...take my advice:
- Live with greater intention as you rediscover lost or dormant passions
- Channel your regret into renewed energy by forgiving yourself
- Compel increasing growth, exploration, and wisdom by staying curious
And, as always, the best advice I can give you is to:
Press on...
Eddie
Sources:
1-https://medium.com/crows-feet/the-autumn-years-715e9ac70173
2-Daniel H. Pink, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, pp164,165.